I'll express what I want to achieve from the Mind Machine first. I would like to put a larger gap between "me" and my emotions. I would like to put a wider gap between "me" and my thoughts.
The 1 hour meditation session on the Proteus spends alot of time well below 4hz. Shortly after the session, usually within 30min, I've acted like a complete ass because I caught resentments and raged out on people, the very behaviour I'm trying to change.
Ok, so I create my own sessions at 4.5hz because this is what I think to be the right freq for meditation, and at the end I don't add frequencies to ramp back up, which I've noticed most mind machine sessions do. The 30min and 40min 4.5hz sessions I created work well without any consequence. So I did the 60min session and made it a point to watch "myself" for intense emotions and fiercely expressed opinions. The results were still the same; raw, intense, easily pissed and strongly opinionated.
My questions:
1 )Are these states just irritation or should I continue them and learn to cope without verbally attacking others?
2) Is there a better frequency to use for what I'm trying to achieve?
Please, I love the machine and I'm not looking for a scapegoat, I need insight here so I'm not moving in the wrong direction. As I said, the shorter sessions don't create any troubles. I don't want to regard these negative experiences as "irritation" from doing the MM too long. If I will get me where I want to be, I will learn to cope with it.
Thanks,
Jerome
Bookmarks