Re: Disappointed
Hello moyshekapoyre and welcome to the forum. Let me offer some suggestions that maybe will allow for deeper experiences.
When in my teens after reading about the wonders of hypnosis, watching movies like Altered States based on John Lilly's experiences or reading about Shamanic Journeying... etc. I had this impression that I could say these magic words or drink this magic potion or put on this miraculous machine and I would be thrust into virtual reality or take a trip to the land of Oz. I really believed that based on what I had read and saw in the media. It didn't happen that way for me at all. I searched for a long while for magic words, drank some magic potions (with some success there!) and bought several machines and tapes to experiment with.
I remember reading Michael Harner's The Way of the Shaman and buying his journeying tape. I had so much anticipation built up from what I had read in the book that my expectations were high. I set aside a special time when I would be undisturbed, burned some sage, prayed to my power animal, lit some candles, dimmed the lights, got comfortable and put on the headphones. After 30 minutes of a monotonous drum banging in my ear and nothing but a leg that had gone to sleep, I was deflated and disappointed.
Were these people liars and out to steal my money? Was something wrong with me and I just didn't have what it takes?
So I tried again and again. Tried different things. Joined groups, took training, went to hypnotherapists, seances, channeling sessions... bunch of stuff. It was all fun but I was by no means a natural. I was always a bit on the skeptical side and never quite fully had the experiences that the people there, right in front of my eyes reported.
I turned to what was natural for me and what I know did work without me even trying. That is dreaming. I have always had very vivid dreams. Better yet, the more I paid attention to them the more interesting they became. I got to know the characters and places in my dreams. Observed and explored my 'abilities' like flying and teleporting and many others.
I knew that those events seemed and felt real and they were almost an entire inner universe separate from this one. I could not really control them though. Yes, I had glimpses of control and lucidity. In fact, many really outstanding ones that I have never forgotten. But it was still 'happening' to me. I wasn't really participating, more so observing.
Learning about my dreams however I began to notice that memories or internal images from them would pop into my consciousness during the day. I paid attention to how these would happen (knowing that they were from that 'other' world). During meditations I would let my imagination drift back to those scenes.
At some point I noticed that I wasn't 'seeing' things with my eyes like I had expected would happen. In fact, the harder I tried to 'see' something, the less I would. It was when I let go and just tuned into to the emerging images from that internal world that I really started having wonderful experiences.
It seems I had discovered and 'set free' my imagination to roam. Work with machines and hypnosis became so much easier then. Light and sound machines provided great 'stimuli' to suggest and develop these images. Music added to this in deeply satisfying ways.
From there, I also began to discover ranges of frequencies that would have noticeable patterns and imagery. These reinforced my sense of internal vision. And the journey continues...
So, what I am saying is that your power of imagination is unlimited and ever present. It is not your eyes that is seeing!
If you will calibrate your expectations, start from known sources of imagery, keep your eye on the ball (so to speak) and become open to your inner experiences, then I think you will get much closer to the results you desire.
Sorry for the long post but I hope it is helpful!
Scott
If you know something I don't, speak up! If maybe I know something you don't, ask away!
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